It's Only Love
by StarGlider
Summary: James wants to tell Jessie something, but he's afraid of what will happen. A songfic.
1. It's Only Love (chapter one)

NOTE: Ok. Let's see...this is yet another songfic from I, StarGlider. This time, the song is "It's Only Love" by The Beatles (they are awesome, by the way...better than any boy band, if you ask me). Anyway, I thought that this song would work with this story (to be honest, it's more like the story is inspired by the song) and there will be another part out soon called "Tell Me What You See". It will be a continuation of this. That's all--enjoy, and REVIEW this, please! (P.S. Thanks Riss for the inspiration =)   
  
  
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It's Only Love  
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James sat before the campfire, holding out a straightened wire hanger with a marshmallow on the end of it. It felt so good to be on vacation, even if it only was for a few days.  
  
The sun was setting slowly and calmly in the distance, making the sky above it go aflame with gorgeous colors. Stars popped up here and there, setting the scene for a beautiful night.  
  
James lost track of the time watching the sunset alone, but soon realized that his marshmallow had caught on fire. Immediately he shook it out, and the charred marshmallow detached from the wire and fell into the fire below it. James shrugged, and, setting down the wire, gave up and watched the sky again. He wondered when Jessie and Meowth would be back.  
  
They had asked James if he had wanted to come to the lake with them, but he had casually refused, saying he'd just assume roast marshmallows by the fire. Jessie had said something about him only thinking about food, then had left with Meowth. The truth was that James had just wanted to be alone so he could think. There was so much on his mind.  
  
Eventually, the colors in the sky died down somewhat as the sun sank lower, and voices became clear through the trees as they entered the clearing.  
  
James looked down from the sky, his thoughts racing. Jessie and Meowth were walking into camp, Jessie in a bikini with a towel around her waist and her hair wet and down, proving to be even longer than it usually looked. James' heart skipped a beat and he couldn't help but think, 'She looks so beautiful tonight, like that...'  
  
Jessie and Meowth sat down on the log by James, looking up at the sky as he had been.  
  
"Aw, ain't dat just beautiful?" Meowth remarked.  
  
"MmHmm," James hummed.  
  
Jessie spoke up, sighing. "But this is nothing compared to the view at the lake. James, you'd rather eat marshmallows than see a sunset in it's full glory?! Hmph. It's out vacation, for crying out loud."  
  
James shrugged, finding that he couldn't really speak. He wasn't even looking at the sky now....  
  
Maybe it was just the lighting, but somehow, there was something about Jessie....James couldn't tear his eyes away.  
  
"Well...I've got to go change," Jessie said. "It's late, anyway, so I'll get ready for bed even though we're gonna stay up a while." She stood and made for the tent.  
  
James felt suddenly relieved, heaving a sigh. What was it? He felt He felt like such an idiot around her...even more so that usual.  
  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
~*~I get high when I see you go by  
My oh my  
When you sigh, my, my inside just flies,  
Butterflies  
Why am I so shy when I'm beside you?~*~  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
  
Jessie came back, clad in her pajamas, and sat down by Meowth on the log. James wasn't sure wether he was glad she wasn't sitting right by him, or....  
  
"James, what *has* gotten into you?" It was Jessie's voice. "You've been all dreamy the past few days, and especially now!"  
  
"He's probably worried about work or somethin'," Meowth suggested.  
  
Jessie rolled her eyes. "Oh, James, we're all a bit concerned about how much we fail, but unless you stop worrying you'll be too stressed out to do anything! Just take a break!" She shook her head, and her eyes returned their gaze skyward.  
  
James wished that he could talk to her about what was really on his mind, but there was no way he could. Why? He knew what would happen.  
  
Of course it was quite obvious what James was thinking. He loved Jessie--he was infatuated with her, and had been for a while, but why? She was annoyed with him, everything he did. And yet....James thought that everything she did was right, every word she spoke, he clung to it. She was beautiful and perfect. But she couldn't be the one for him, because love is a two way street. He knew that if she was truly for him, she would love him back, right?   
  
And yet, even knowing all this, he couldn't deny it. He loved her.  
  
Wouldn't it be impossible for them to have an intimate relationship? He wished, almost, that he didn't have to love her. Be he did, and he couldn't stop that.  
  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
~*~It's only love, and that is all,  
Why should I feel the way I do?  
It's only love, and that is all,  
But it's so hard loving you~*~  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
  
Watching the stars, the three Team Rocket members continued to sit out by the fire. The summer air hadn't grown too much cooler since it had been a particularly hot day, but it left the night at a comfortable temperature.  
  
However, James didn't feel much like looking at the night sky. He felt more like crying, or curling up in a ball and wishing the world would disappear.   
  
There were wonderful sights to be seen in the world, but the most beautiful of all, he could not have.  
  
"I'm going to bed," James said, starting to stand up.  
  
"What?" Jessie asked, shocked. "Come on! It's only 8:30; don't you want to stay up?"  
  
"Naw, I don't feel like it tonight," he replied solemnly.  
  
Jessie made an annoyed noise. "What is up with you, James? Do you try to get on my nerves? I mean, can't we all just enjoy a nice night together, or do you just have to go off being depressed? Holy cow, we're on vacation so just enjoy yourself! Come on!" She looked at him, her face somewhere between annoyance and confusion.  
  
James wished so much that he didn't have to feel so terrible. Why couldn't he just hold Jessie in his arms, and enjoy the evening with her? She made him feel warm all over, just to look at her. But now, it hurt him so much just to be with her, knowing he couldn't really have her.   
  
"Look—Jess, I'm sorry, but—"   
  
"Whatever, James. Maybe you _should_ go to bed, after all. I know you'd rather sleep than be out here with us. Oh, and while your at it...." She picked up the bag of marshmallows by her and threw them at James. "...maybe you want to eat, too. Wow, what a night you'll have." She huffed, and looked back into the night.  
  
"But, Jessie, I..."  
  
She was ignoring him now.  
  
Sighing, James threw the marshmallows to the ground and walked to the tent. Why couldn't he explain? Maybe because then he'd have to say to Jessie that he loved her, and certainly that would only make her angrier.  
  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
~*~Is it right that you and I should fight  
Every night?  
Just the sight of you makes nighttime bright  
Very bright  
Haven't I the right to make it up, girl?~*~  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
  
James crawled into the tent and sat down on his sleeping bag. He eyed his pillow, under which his journal lay hidden, but he didn't even have the heart to write down what he felt right now. Dismissing that idea, he changed into his pajamas and lay down on his sleeping bag (it was too warm to get into it), just thinking. Why was love such a difficult thing? Why had it taken him over like this, controlling him and making him feel this way?  
  
James wished that for just a minute, he could have the right moment and the strength in which to talk to Jessie from his heart, but it was so hard just to talk to her at all now...  
  
James lay there, staring upward, wishing he knew what to do.  
  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
~*~It's only love, and that is all  
Why should I feel the way I do?  
It's only love, and that is all  
But it's so hard loving you--loving you~*~  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
  
~~~  
To be continued...  
  
  
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So--what did you think? A bit corny, perhaps, but love is, isn't it? Heh. Anyway, please review this...I like to know what you think of my fics. Also be looking out for Part 2 of this fic. It'll be called "Tell Me What You See". E-mail comments to star_glider@juno.com. Thanks for reading!  
  
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	2. Tell Me What You See (chapter two)

NOTE: This is a continuation of my other fic, "It's Only Love". The song "Tell me What You See" is also by the immortal Beatles. I don't think that this story is quite as good as the other, but it ties everything off nicely. Please read and review. Thanks!  
  
  
  
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Tell Me What You See  
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James knew that he must have been lying there for quite a while when he heard people entering the tent. He decided to just fake that he was asleep and avoid another argument with Jessie.  
  
He closed his eyes, trying to make his breathing sound even, and listened to the voices as they entered the tent.  
  
"Aw, it's so stuffy in here," Meowth's voice said, "I'd radda curl up outside, tank you very much."  
  
"Go right ahead, Meowth," James heard Jessie say, "more room for me."  
  
James heard Meowth leave the tent. Jessie was right there, so close. He was alone with her now. His head felt heavy and fuzzy as his heart beat faster.  
  
The thought that there might be a day in the future that James didn't spend with Jessie made James feel almost sick; nervous and unsure. He knew that if he didn't talk to Jessie eventually, someday they might not be together. Jessie would never know what James felt so deeply. James was dying to tell her. . . .  
  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**  
  
~If you let me take your heart, I will prove to you  
We will never be apart if I'm part of you~  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**  
  
  
James felt himself tremble slightly, his breath wavering as he drew it in. It would have to wait.  
  
James sighed very softly and wished desperately the he could fall asleep, but he was just so tense....  
  
  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**  
  
~Open up your eyes now, tell me what you see  
It is no surprise now, what you see is me~  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**  
  
  
James heard Jessie settling into her sleeping bag. He knew that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep at all like this, but he was tired of thinking about what he should do.  
  
"James?"  
  
The word came suddenly. He opened his eyes.  
  
"James, I know you're awake."  
  
James started to get up, supporting his body on his elbow. There was Jessie, moonlight illuminating her face. She was sitting cross-legged on her sleeping bag on the opposite side of the tent.  
  
"H..how did you know?" James asked, surprised.  
  
"Because I know you too well," Jessie replied.  
  
  
James sat up on his sleeping bag.  
  
"Look, James—I know that something's wrong. It's not like you to act like this. Please talk to me." She was looking meaningfully into James' face.  
  
James felt a rush of nervousness overtake him. He shook his head. "I want to but...I just can't..."  
  
Jessie crawled over to James, sitting close to him and speaking gently. "Come on, James. We've been friends for so long, and you've never kept things from me. Talk." She looked at him, pleading.  
  
It didn't much help that she was so close to James right now. He knew that they had been through so much together, and yet, it seemed that he didn't know how to talk to Jessie.  
  
If only he could say it, if Jessie would tell him she felt the same, James hoped that things would be easier for them. But he couldn't say it...  
  
  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**  
  
~Big and black the clouds may be, time will pass away  
If you put your trust in me, I'll make bright your day~  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**  
  
  
James looked into Jessie's eyes, wishing that he could know what she was thinking at that very moment. If only he knew what she thought of him, truly, maybe this would be easier.  
  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**  
  
~Look into these eyes now, tell me what you see  
Don't you realize now, what you see is me  
Tell me what you see~  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**  
  
  
"Jessie, I have a....well, a confession," James told her at last.  
  
"Um...Ok. What's that?" She seemed interested.  
  
"Well, Jess...I....I think...I love you." His voice grew quieter, and he wasn't even sure if Jessie had heard.  
  
But just the same, Jessie seemed utterly stunned. "Wha...what did you say?"  
  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**  
  
~Listen to me one more time, how can I get through?  
Can't you try to see that I'm trying to get to you?~  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**  
  
  
It wasn't any easier to say it now than it had been the first time, but James forced himself to say it again. "I love you, Jessie."  
  
Jessie's expression became more surprised still, and she didn't say anything until several moments had gone by.  
  
"...you love me? Is that...is that what I heard you say?"  
  
To James, her voice sounded shocked and almost annoyed. Just from that, James was sure that he'd done the wrong thing.   
  
Her face had an expression on it that James hadn't ever seen before. It seemed almost like fear...and if not that, what was it?   
  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**  
  
~Open up your eyes now, tell me what you see  
It is no surprise now, what you see is me  
Tell me what you see~  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**  
  
  
Looking at that face scared James to death; like it scares a child to look at a vase they had broken lay shattered on the floor. He knew that he had ruined everything between them now, and he couldn't stand to see her looking that way.  
  
"...Jessie, I...I'm so, so sorry, Jessie. I'm sorry I said what you didn't want to hear—"  
  
James couldn't stand to be there another moment. Without another glance at Jessie's face, he shot out of the tent and into the moonlight outside.  
  
He felt almost like he had committed a murder and left the victim behind in the dark. The words he had just said were like bullets—they changed so many things in just an instant.  
  
James made his way out of the clearing and through the woods, hoping to get out of sight of the camp. He walked down a slope of trees, and suddenly found himself looking out on a magnificent sight.  
  
The lake stretched out before him like a shimmering mirror, reflecting the stars and constellations from the sky. The moon was lit like a candle, glowing softly above. It was a beautiful sight to behold.  
  
James knew that he had been missing out when he hadn't joined Jessie and Meowth earlier.  
  
James sat down by the lakeside, entranced by the smooth stretch of water. He wished over and over again that he could turn back time.  
  
  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**  
  
~Listen to me one more time, how can I get through?  
Can't you try to see that I'm trying to get to you?~  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**  
  
  
So, what now, then?  
  
'Why am I so stupid? No wonder she's always mad at me,' James thought. 'But I still love her, even if she were to choose to pack up and leave me forever.  
  
'Or, should *I * leave? Maybe I should apologize to Jessie again, and tell her I would just go if it made her feel more comfortable.' Surely, now that he had said he loved her, their friendship couldn't be the same....  
  
"James, where are you?!" It was Jessie's voice, yelling for him.  
  
James stood up, wondering what she could possibly have to say to him now.  
  
Through the trees came Jessie, spotting James and running to him right away.  
  
"James--why did you run off like that? You didn't even let me finish!"  
  
"Jessie, you don't need to finish. I know I messed up, and you didn't want to hear what I said, so...so if you don't want to speak to me—"  
  
"But James, you don't get it!" Jessie walked down and took his hand, sitting down with him by the water's edge and looking into his face. "James, I'm not mad! No, no...that's exactly what I wanted you to say!"  
  
James looked puzzled. "You...did?"  
  
"Yes, I've been hoping you would. I just wasn't expecting it then, and it took me completely by surprise! I can't believe it! I never thought you'd tell me."  
  
"You mean, you wanted me to say that I love you, Jessie?" James asked.  
  
"Yes...oh, for so long now! It made me kind of mad that you never did...and...it wouldn't be like me to say it first. I thought you wouldn't like it if I did..." She was actually smiling now.  
  
"So, you feel the same way I do?" James asked hopefullyl  
  
"Of course I do. I love you, James, and I only wish I'd said it to you...so you wouldn't have had to go through all of this, thinking that I didn't love you..."  
  
James was relieved. So relieved that he felt brave.  
  
"Then you wouldn't mind if I...if I did this...."  
  
He put his arm around her and held her close to him.  
  
"Not at all," Jessie said softly, "I've been waiting for this..."  
  
She leaned her head against his chest, and together they watched the stars glimmer over the sparkling water.  
  
But of all the beautiful things in the world, James suddenly knew that he had the most beautiful of all.  
  
And they would always be together, for now there was a strong bond between them, stronger than friendship, or anything else.  
  
Jessie looked up at James, and he leaned his face to hers, their lips making contact. "I love you, Jess..." James whispered after the kiss had ended, holding her tighter.  
  
Jessie and James never wanted this feeling that they felt to end. And now that they were truly together, it never had to.  
  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**  
  
~Open up your eyes now, tell me what you see  
It is no surprise now, what you see is me~  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**  
  
  
A million beautiful, wonderful, magnificent things adorn the world, but of them all, love is the greatest and most powerful.  
  
  
**~**~**~**  
~~~Fin~~~  
**~**~**~**  
  
  
  
  
  
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Thanks a lot for reading this story! Hope you liked, even if it's really kinda mushy and stuff. Well, anyway, please leave a review for this story and/or feel free to e-mail me: star_glider@juno.com. See ya later!  
  
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